Jan: Paul's dad moved in with
him when he was divorcing his wife of 37 years, the mother
of eight children. Paul: Dad moved in with me a year
before I met Jan. He was only going to be with me for a
few months, until he found his own place, but he's
been with us the whole time. When one of my brothers was
bad-mouthing Jan and me, Dad told him, "If you're
going to be a part of this family, you will respect Paul
and Jan. They are the anchor of this family now."Jan: Paul and I nursed my mother back to health in
our home after she had a serious operation. Paul made her
get out of bed and walk, cleaned up after her, helped her
shower, made sure she took her pills. And Paul was at her
bedside when she died two years later in a hospice, just
as he had been with her for 21 years as a son-in-law and
friend. Those are the commitments that make marriages for
real. Paul: In 1995, when my brothers and sisters
learned that I was HIV-positive, they assumed that Jan would
leave me. When they saw him become this incredible caregiver,
they gained new respect for his strength and for our love
and commitment. We are together for life, no matter what.
Together since April 1, 1978
